You have failed and now you must Daegu!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

<-----Before the haircut.

<---After. I guess my eyes are green after all.

<----Cutie Su-Jin with one of my birthday presents. It's a Batman cellphone charm. For some reason, Korean Batman has a small tail.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Top five t-shirts with strange english that I have seen in Korea.

5. One shirt that is in the windows of most women's shops here in Daegu reads "Heavy, Light" with arrows pointing up and down. I have no idea what to make of this.

4. There's one that is common in women's stores that reads "Communism, Atheism and Free Love." I'd bet my next 4 paychecks that there is no way anyone who wears this shirt has any idea what this shirt means.

3. A girl came into my class wearing a t-shirt that read, "I'm Pissed Off" in big block letters. She wasn't very happy.

2. A girl had a jacket which read "Panama Fuck City" on the back.

1. Last night at HomePlus, a girl was shopping for groceries while wearing an oversize t-shirt that read, "Fuck" in cursive letters.

Honorable mentions(because I did not see these)

My friend, Daren, claimed she saw a boy wearing a t-shirt that read, "I fuck on the first date and a fellow teacher claimed he saw a student on a field trip wearing a hat with a Pacman logo that read "Fuckman."

Monday, April 23, 2007

I was goofing around, checking out the Korean League team sites and I came across this. Make sure your speakers are turned up. Way up. :-)

Happy Birthday to me!

We headed out to one of the chicken restaurants in downtown. Koreans might not know western food very well, but one thing they do get right is fried and BBQ chicken. After chicken, we headed to a very chill bar called Silk. Silk offers one of the best deals in Daegu. 500ml of premium vodka for roughly $35. It's enough to get 4 people absolutely tanked for less than 10,000 won each. Patrick ran out half way through the night and bought a cake. Awesome. At the end of the night, for some reason I became irritated with my Korean friend, Min-ho. It was probably an age joke or something. All I know is, I ended our fued by pouring water on his crotch when he turned his head to light a cigarette. The best part was that he didn't realize I did it for a full ten seconds after. It was like, "This is a good cigarette....wait....what the...oh no!!!" I apologized later. I even let him borrow my CostCo card.

I got a massive gift box from my family and Su-Jin gave me clothing, a cell phone charm and an awesome birthday cake. Thank you very much.

Quote of the week. My friend James to his adult students on the Virginia Tech shooting.

"I guess this is why your country doesn't let you have guns."

Wow. Way to keep your students happy, James. Apparently the students were none to happy with his comments and I can't really blame them. James is a guy I can't quite figure out. He's engaged to a Korean girl and I have no idea what she sees in him. He wants to spend the rest of his life here, but he is very much a "Pro-America" guy and he doesn't do very well when it comes to being polite. It's just a strange situation.

I also found this:

The two single person massacres with the highest body count are by South Koreans.

The Samsung Lions picked up another W on Sunday. Great game. Oh Seung Hwan worked a two inning save. He actually gave up a hit this time.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

So I finally got a haircut. It's essentially the same, but its out of my eyes and a little less anime in the back.

Work was frustrating this week. I think the kids had a week off or something because they were just way too hyper(even for Korean kids) this week. I had two boneheads in one of my middle school classes screwing around and trying to open one of my windows. They would say "Hana, dul, set," and then bump the window. I strictly enforce my "No Korean" rule. They did it three times and I took three tics off of my "Korean-O-Meter." They couldn't understand why I did this and tried to convince me that they were speaking English. I'd rather have them just tell me that they think I'm stupid. Don't bullshit me, just say, "Teacher, you are an idiot." I couldn't believe they honestly thought they could tell me that they were speaking English. Morons. That REALLY burned me up. Please, don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining.

The Samsung Lions are sitting at 7-5-1 and are 1 1/2 games back in the Korean League. They're top reliever, Oh Seung Hwan, has a save or a W in all of the victories. Entering today, he had an ERA of 0.00. He's pretty good.

Monday, April 16, 2007

<---A picture of the cake Su-Jin and I had for our 100 day anniversary. The 100 day is a big deal for couples. We celebrated on Sunday by going for a stroll downtown and shopping. Then going to the grocery store and me cooking dinner. A fun time was had by all.

Also, a mammoth box of Oreos I bought at Costco in the background.

<----The announcers for the StarCraft League postgame show. Not one, not two, but three pink shirts and ties. Only in Korea.

<----I need a fucking haircut.

<----Manjiro at rest.

<-------Superman selling cellphones.

Lazy weekend filled with a lot of bad baseball.

I had Friday off and I just hung out in Daegu with Su-Jin. The weather was gorgeous and I did my best to spend as much time as I could enjoying it.

The Samsung Lions dropped two out of three to the hated Kia Tigers. The biggest highlight was the first game, the one game that they won. Kris Wilson went 7 strong innings before being yanked. The relievers came in and displayed the composure of a twelve year old Korean girl at Academy. The best part was, while the bullpen was melting down, they kept cutting to shots of Wilson in the dugout about to strangle everyone in sight. They battled through a ROUGH 8th inning and brought in the Korean Mariano Rivera to ice the game. Oh Sung Hwan's nickname is Iron Mask. He has one expression and he constantly wears it. He always has a look of focused determination. His asshole has got to be watertight. He's a great pitcher, but he's got to be a dud at parties.

All this time I thought the biggest problem for my beloved White Sox would be the pitching, but then I remembered that it's an odd numbered year. It's the offense' turn to suck. I get the impression that if you took all the White Sox bats and threw them into the ocean, they would not be able to hit water.

Jermaine Dye is slowling morphing from "Yer Main Guy" into "The Jerm" again. The Crede Comet has been inCREDEbly bad and especially CREDEocre this season. A.J. Alphabet is turning into A.J. Assbat. While Juan Uribe is now Juan Gone! He's the only guy who looks like he knows what he's doing at the plate.
I just worked 8 classes and a two hour long private lesson. I tried my latest idea. I bought a Korean comic, blocked out the Korean and asked the class to write a comic in English. They didn't hate it. In fact, I had the Korean teacher poll the class afterwards and they claim they wanted to do it again. We'll see what happens when I try it on the monsters Tuesday and Thursday. Fingers crossed.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Why Daegu, South Korea would be the worst place ever in a zombie outbreak.

Reason #1:

Close quarters. Having to navigate through the city streets(especially downtown), would be completely futile. There would be nowhere safe to stop and far too many places for zombies to hide.

There are lots of scooters and motorcycles, but even getting around on those would be difficult. Too many obstacles to navigate around.

Reason #2:

No weapons. The only guns are at police stations and military bases and travel would be difficult. I don't think I could even get my hand on a chainsaw or a large enough knife. There just aren't any weapons in this country. The only chance for survival would be running and that would be difficult due to the way the city is fairly isolated from the rest of the country.

Reason #3

Clean up would be next to impossible. It could take ten years to sufficiently clear out a full scale zombie outbreak. There are just too many places for zombies to hide, especially in the downtown area.

Reason #4

If I wanted to hide in my apartment, it would only be a matter of time before zombies would overrun me. There is no way to destroy the staircase and no way to really defend myself should I find myself surrounded. The only chance I'd have would be to barricade myself on the roof and leap to a quick death should zombies break through the barricade.

Reason #5

It is impossible for me to stockpile any kind of supplies or make any legitimate preparations.

So, fighting is impossible, running would be difficult and hiding is out of the question. The onlt thing I could really do is stick my head between my legs and kiss my ass good-bye. Daegu could be one of the worst places to be stuck in during a zombie outbreak. The only place in Korea that would be at all safe would the rural areas. They're so isolated that the chances of a zombie making it out there is remote.


Just click and read. I promise. The blog starts at the bottom.

No real plans for this weekend. Patrick and a few others want to travel, but I'm feeling lazy. The weather in Daegu is nice and I just feel like screwing around here.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Sorry this has turned into a baseball this weekend: Why Daegu would be a lost cause in a zombie attack!

"I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul," he says. "I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger."

Ichiro on facing Daisuke Matsuzaka. Awesome.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Great effort from the White Sox today. This was the first full game I was able to watch. The starting pitching was there, the bullpen was there and the timely hitting was there. I'm legitimately excited for the bullpen this year, we've got six guys with plus arms for the first time....ever. The big key will be keeping our outfield healthy this year. I'm not printing playoff tickets yet, but I think the pieces are in place for a good season, maybe a great one.

The game started at 11am Daegu time or 9pm Chicago time. I was able to hit the gym, get some Burger King(I need to gain back some of the weight I lost while sick) and settle in at a PC room in time for the third inning. I watched the first two innings at home. Apparently todays game was broadcast in Korea. Cool. Now I'm in a great mood for work. I get a two hour break today because I start early and finish late. I'm not sure what I'll do with it, yet. I might just hide in my room for ninety minutes.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

I finally made it to the ballpark yesterday. The game started at 2pm local time. I arrived with Su-Jin and Physics Brian just before the first pitch. We had been told that no one goes to the local games and that the only games that ever draw are when the national team plays. We found out quickly that there were no tickets available at the stadium. Apparently, since it was the first Sunday of the season, the game was free. We bumped into a "scalper" in the parking lot and bought three tickets from him for a total of $15.

We headed into the stadium and made another discovery. Every seat was full. We would have to stand for the game. Oh well, I was actually really excited just to see actual baseball actually happening.

After the fifth inning, we got hit with a little drizzle. Most of the families with small children cleared out and we were able to find three seats together and watch the rest of the game in comfort.

My impressions on Korean baseball? I like it. They play hard and fairly fundamentally sound. There were a few bonehead plays in the field. A pickoff move turned into a triple and a runner forgot to advance. The pitching was better than I thought it would be, most of the pitches were around 90-80mph, a few times dipping below on curves and changes. Daegu's Samsung Lions defeated the Doosan Bears 7-4. The Lions can rake.

The product on the field was competent, but the "stadium" needs to be torn down. Citizen Ballpark is on par with any other out of date minor league ballpark, except it has no charm whatsoever. It's a dull ballpark that is just way to small for a professional baseball team. The concessions were also lacking. Bonus points for selling soju and gimbap, stick with what you know fellas.

Koreans cheered for the entire game. At least now I can understand most of the chants. They had a male cheerleader leading the chants and lovely ladies dancing behind him. Thunderstix were everywhere. There was a lot of cheering, but there really wasn't as much excitement behind it as I've heard at White Sox games. It seemed kind of forced.

Strangest thing that happened during the game was that they stopped the game in the fifth inning for a prize drawing and comedy show. They had five guys in Power Rangers outfits run onto the field and jump around poorly for a few minutes before scurrying off. Let's just stick with baseball, please.

The best unintentional comedy moment went to the two white guys on the Samsung Lions. Both stood outside of the dugout for half the game with their arms crossed and then exchanged an awkward high five after the win. The best part? Neither guy even warmed up. I'm guessing Kris Wilson and Jamie Brown aren't enjoying Korea as much as I am.

Here's a link to the Samsung Lions English website.

Check out the shopping section. Yes, they do have a Hello Kitty in a Lions uni.

Friday, April 06, 2007

I was having dinner with Su-Jin last Saturday at about 8pm when the fever hit. Su-Jin ran to a pharmacy to get some OTC meds, while I hurried home to get into bed. In the morning, I still hadn't improved. In fact I was getting worse. I was able to convince Su-Jin that I was really sick and needed to go to the hospital(It's walking distance from my apartment, if it weren't, I'm not sure I would have gone so quickly). We arrived at the first hospital and I was decidedly out of it. If I didn't have Su-Jin there to tell me where to sit down, I'd probably still be passed out in the middle of the lobby with Koreans stepping over me to get health care. Su-Jin decided that the first hospital was too busy and the doctors were too rude. So, she shoved me in a cab and took me to a "personal" hospital.

We arrived at the "personal" hospital and they took my temperature immeadiately. 39 degrees(102 for those scoring at home). I spoke with a doctor, he took a chest xray and gave me a shot in the ass. I felt better right away. I still called out sick the next day, I needed to get some rest.

Now, I feel like I could pick up a truck. I made two followup visits to the doctor and he's given me a clean bill of health. Su-Jin was instrumental in my recovery. I'd still be curled up in a ball, trying not to die if it weren't for her. The doctor was one of the friendliest people I've ever met. He didn't speak much English, but he didn't make me put up with any bullshit, he kept his hands off my cock and he was really kind to me.

Classes were fairly tame this week. I made one of my monsters cry this week. I don't feel the least bit bad about it. This girl hates my guts and there is no real reason for it. She just wants to scream "Go home!" or "You dirty!" Whatever. Two of the vocab words were "jail" and "join." She had them confused. I attempted to show her that she was mistaken and she flew into hysterics. If you want to act like a brat in my class, I'll probably just laugh at you.

My box of rocks TOEFL student announced this week that he wants to be an English Teacher. I just smiled and nodded.

Actually, a lot of my kids were really high strung this week. A lot of fights, tears and angry students. The most shocking part of this story? I had little to do with any of it. If anything, I was the voice of reason.

After being sick all day Sunday and Monday. I decided it would be a good idea to go to PC room Tuesday at 3am to watch the White Sox. I'm not sure who the guys in pinstripes were, but they were not my White Sox. I've never seen an opening day go that poorly, that quickly. Yikes. It may be a long year.

Vegan Brian left on Sunday. He's now safely back in West Virginia. Patrick and I miss him lots. I missed his farewell party on Saturday, but I was able to catch up with him before he left on Sunday.

We're expecting two new teachers sometime this weekend. One is a 40-something British lady and the other is Andrew's Jamaican girlfriend. It's like they're trying to pick people that I would have no interest in hanging out with.

Jerry is leaving for the US on Tuesday. He's heading home for a month, then coming back for 14 months. Patrick leaves at the end of the month. They better bring in someone who isn't a douchebag or I'm not leaving my room.

I'm going to do a running diary of baseball games this month. I've been flipping around on MLB.TV and I've realized this, there are a lot of awful broadcasters in MLB and everyone needs to know about them. Right now the Angels broadcast team is the most annoying. Rex Hudler and his monkey partner with the hard to pronounce name are making this A's/Angels matchup more painful than it should be. More coming on this...