You have failed and now you must Daegu!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Okay, that was a scary five minutes. This is a little more my speed. Not that K-Pop isn't awesome. I give you No Brain! Why are these guys cool? Despite being one of the first Korean punk bands, they got in huge trouble a few years ago for tearing up a Japanese flag on stage while singing the Korean national anthem. If only they had taken a dump on it. That's even more punk.

I've decided that Graham is a former hari-krishna. I just get that vibe from him. I got a letter of recommendation from the Kim's. It didn't use the words "incompetent" or "negligent."

Happy Independence Day!

Speaking of independence, I've finally composed myself enough to discuss Thierry Henry leaving my beloved Arsenal. I'm fine with it. Arsenal had 4 world class strikers, there wasn't enough playing time to go around. It means more minutes for Van Persie, Walcott and Adebayor, all of whom are young and need to play. Henry is going to be 32, his best days are behind him and he'll soon be entering a transitional phase of his career. I'll never be happy with losing a player of his calibre, let's face it, he's one of the five best football players in the world at any given time, but if they were going to lose him, now was the time.

I'm usually the kiss of death for guys. If your jersey is in my closet, you're getting whacked soon. Let's go down the list. Aaron Rowand? Traded. Tadahito Iguchi. Soon to be gone. AJ Pierzynski. Soon. Chris Carpenter. Out until 2011 with a detached right shoulder. Thierry Henry. Sold. It's time for Robin Van Persie and Prince Fielder to start worrying. I've also been eyeing a Sandy Koufax throwback for quite sometime. I buy it and he dies in a mysterious gardening accident. I should start using my powers for good instead of evil. I should be buying a Rex Grossman jersey every week and a Juan Uribe jersey every day.

I was daydreaming the other day, what if a terrorist came into my classroom to attack American interests?

It would unfold something like this...


MATT walks into the classroom. Sitting in the class is a STUDENT. The student is hiding behind his book.


Matt looks at his attendence sheet.

Abu-Al Habib? Strange name for a....Korean.

The student looks up from his book. He's wearing a turban.

Yes. I was born in Daegu. I've lived here for my entire life.

Then why do you speak English so well? No one who attends LIKE can possibly speak English as well as you can...wait

Matt gasps

You must be... A TERRORIST!!!

Die infidel!!!

Welcome to class, motherfucker!!!

Matt and the student fight. Matt does a flying spin kick that connects with the students head.

I'm fine....and you? You won't be so-so for long!

Matt reaches into his pack, he pulls out a grenade. He pulls the pin and lobs it at the student.

The grenade blows up. Matt leaps out the door in slow motion with the explosion behind him. The student leaps out the window. He lands on his feet and runs down the street.

Matt lands.

Class dismissed.



Anonymous Zardoz said...

I like the script, definitely a cut above scriptbuddy. Or at least half a cut. Certainly more plausable then 90% of the scripts on there. Well looks like the Sox have been a little run. Only 13.5 games back. I think they still have a chance. Well at least football is starting in a couple months. I am debating trading my San Diego D. Getting some good offers but with the changes in the coaching staff for the Bears I am thinking I might hold onto it just in case of a total defensive collapse by the Bears, which is entirely possible. Hopefully be catching a double feature of Transformers and Die Hard 4: New Hampshire State Motto. Both have been getting decent reviews suprisingly. I am just expecting mindless action, not Rambo: First Blood Part II level, but hopefully just a little above that. Oh well back to work. Peace out darkness.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Zardoz said...

Oh, and been catching up on Vice. Season 3 is definitely the best of the series. Almost a shame I have to get to season 4 at this point, will be quite a let down with the bar set with 3. Almost through with The Wire, onto Firefly and then might be picking up, Homicide: Life on the Street next. 35 DVDs for 80 bucks, how can you beat that?

8:08 AM  

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