You have failed and now you must Daegu!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

This week was just horrific, but its over and in two days I get to do this all over again.

It started out with me being super pissed and totally hulking out. Seriously, if you put the over/under on me totally hulking out in Korea at three months, wouldn't you take the under? I like to think I'm getting better, but I had two "What am I doing here" moments this week. The first involved one of my younger students. I've had him since he started and he actually seems to like me. Two boys were putting their coats over their heads and singing. I took the coats away, one boy stopped, the other didn't and I moved his seat. The boy in the "Special Seat" continued. I moved his desk outside the room and he lost it. I had to spend five minutes comforting him after class, like Sellers after I destroy him at Madden or like Rhea after another humiliating loss at air hockey. The next day, he was waiting for me an hour before class. He walked with me to my classroom and would not let me leave until he wrote I'm sorry on the whiteboard.(He needed help with spelling) Then he walked with me down to the computer lab and whispered "I'm sorry" in my ear. He gave me a hug and then sat in my lap while I did my work. Then in class, he took it upon himself to quiet everyone down. It was adorable. That class is probably my favorite. It's seven WILD eight year olds who started learning their ABC's with me. We have a lot of fun together. When they're that young, you actually see the progress they are making. It's probably the most rewarding experience I've had here.

Then there is my "box of rocks" class. These are the kids who will read a paragraph, then when asked, "Who was talking?" will respond with "I don't know." I'm still not sure if they legitimately don't know or if they're just playing dumb. I can tell you this much, when I get angry, they start speaking really well. So guess, which way I'm leaning? It was a typically completely disrespectful waste of time with them. I have three girls in that class that absolutely hate my guts. I told them to stop talking, they did, but as soon as I turned my back they went right back to it. I was sick of it. I didn't beat anyone, but I did something I shouldn't have and made a girl cry hysterically for thirty minutes straight. Somewhere, my mother was frowning. She wasn't crying because of what I did, but the fact that she was angry that I disrespected her. I don't consider myself a monsterous teacher. I really look forward to most of my classes and I can tell the kids actually enjoy me as a teacher. I attempted to apologize, but she wouldn't have any of it. I even spoke with the Korean teacher to have her attempt to smooth things over. I felt like a monster for the rest of the day and I still have a hard time sleeping. Part of me doesn't feel that bad. These kids go out of their way to push my buttons and if I were a Korean teacher there probably would have been a beating. I just have to remember that I am the adult and they are the students, even if they choose not to act like it. I have this class again on Tuesday and I may try to trade with Bryan. See if he can handle these kids.

I think, if I were a legitimate monster, I wouldn't be having these feelings. I'm still not very proud of myself.

I've made peace with everyone. Andrew isn't as awful as he was, but I won't be starting his fan club any time soon.

We have another new guy. As if this blog wasn't confusing enough, I have to add a third Brian to the mix. He taught in Seoul for a year and has "expertitise" He'll ask a question, listen to an answer for about three seconds and then give his opinion. He seems like a nice enough guy, I just think he comes on a little too strong. He also chose to share his sexual history with everyone the first night in Daegu, that was more than I cared for.

Speaking of Kee Young did the same thing last Sunday. He got wasted and told me about various sexual acts he prefers. I want that thirty seconds back.

My wrist feels much better, but after an insane workout I feel like hammered shit.

Hassman got his wedding present. A humidifier in the shape of a frog along with some Korean junk food. He claims he actually likes it. I don't believe it.


Anonymous kidlee47 said...

Mom is not frowning. Cherish the good stuff and move on from the bad. It is a journey.

2:56 PM  
Blogger Leaf said...

This was a very insiteful post. I think that blogging is a good way for you to vent. Sometimes writing down how you're feeling in certain situations has a theraputic effect.

Man, I sound like kotch with the psychobabble.

You sound like you are doing alright out there bud, and your intentions are good, regardless of the situations that may be coming up.

I'm performing in an opera next weekend. Yeah! It's a paid gig too.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Boxing Day, Happy New Year. We still don't know what we're doing for the new year...I'm trying to get postal paul to invite us over, since he now has the sweet TV and stereo action.


1:05 AM  
Blogger Leaf said...

yeah, I can't spell insightful...

1:06 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home