You have failed and now you must Daegu!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Me cheering on the Samsung Lions. Notice the small stadium and the dude wearing a paper hat.

A Samsung Lions Hello Kitty that I bought for Su-Jin. The problem is that Hello Kitty can only speak Japanese. Conversations have been difficult.

Me after work and Manjiro after finding out there aren't any apples in the apartment. OTL

Little Manjiro and a little apple charm.

The Cass Beer Red 6.9 car. Cass is a Korean beer maker. Their newest concoction is Red 6.9. it has 6.9% alchohol. It is disgusting.

Sorry about the lack of updates. The "new" has been giving me a hard time lately. Especially since everything is in Korean.

This will be a mega update. Get a cup of coffee now.

Last weekend I caught two ballgames. I split the weekend. Dropping a 5-3 snoozefest to LG and then watching my beloved Lions pound the tar out of them the next day with a 9-0 final. Fun weekend.

The biggest announcement was StarCraft 2. There wasn't any rioting, but I'm a little worried about this game being released here. People in the US take the day off for Madden releases, but this country will essentially shut down for about a week. If I were planning an invasion of South Korea, I'd do it the day this game came out. No one would notice for about a week.

I discovered on Monday that the deadline for applying to public school jobs in Seoul is 5/31(I didn't know there was an application, let alone a deadline). So, I quickly filled out the app, found two people gullible enough to write two reference letters, tooka passport photo and mailed off my app to the recruiter in Seoul.

The biggest highlight was the passport photo. The photographer thought I was taking a wedding portait or something. As long as I don't look like a Wicker Park homeless guy, I couldn't care less about the photo. He had me posing for ten minutes, I finally suggested he take the photo when he attacked me with a comb and I stopped him.

The post office was an adventure. I wanted to send the package express with a tracking number, but the woman at the desk flew into hysterics when she saw English on the envelope. I have to plead ignorance. I'm getting better with reading and writing Korean, but I have no idea how to address an envelope in Korean. Here's hoping it gets there.

I saw the two coolest things I have ever seen on TV last night. First, a StarCraft battle that ended with a nuclear strike. We rarely see advanced units on the StarCraft channel, let alone a nuclear strike. Having a StarCraft battle end with a nuke is like a baseball game ending with a triple play. Then, I flipped over to one of the late night breakdancing shows. The battle I saw is linked below. This is how all disputes should be settled. Well, this or a Blitz battle.

The best part is the doo-rags.

It was a fairly tame week as far as classes go. People keep telling me I'm going to miss the monsters at LIKE when I am gone. I will not. I got in trouble for that this week actually. So, when kids run around my classroom screaming, I can't call them monsters or monkeys any more. Whatever.

I was talking with Patrick this week, we were talking about how screwed up things are at LIKE. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result each time. The books haven't been updated in thirty years, they've gone from over twenty locations to 6 in the last few years and classes are shrinking. Who do we blame for all of this? The foreigner who shows up early, tries to actually teach and gets irritated when his boss throws him under the bus.

I have 66 more days at the work. Monday will be the day of the mark of the beast.

We have a friend here nicknamed Dr. China. He's a Chinese executive. His family is fairly wealthy. He speaks Chinese, FLAWLESS Korean and enough English that he can be understood. He has a strange problem. Only about 70% of what he says is true. Now, there's no malice behind it. It's likely the result of too many languages, booze, drugs and well, putting undue pressure on a structure that isn't exactly up to code. For example, when we ask him what he's doing, he'll tell us things that he'd like to do. For example,

Patrick: Where are you?
Dr. China: Crew pub.
Patrick: We'll be there in fifteen minutes.

Patrick goes to Crew Pub.

Patrick: Is the Doctor in?
Bartender: No, we haven't seen him.

Fifteen minutes later.

Dr. China enters.

Dr. China: I've been looking for you!
Patrick: Me too.

The problem is that he's leaving Daegu for China in July. We have to hold auditions for the new Dr. China. Are you Asian? Check. Do you have wild hair? Check. Can you not know where you are 75% of the time? Check. Can you send confusing text messages? Check. Congratulations. You are the new Dr. China.

My favorite Dr. China story? I told him I'm really good at NBA '07. He claims that he loves that game. He plays with Houston so he can use Yao Ming. He wanted to play me until I asked what level he plays at. I played this game A TON before I had a girlfriend. I can thrash the computer at Hall of Fame level with just about any team. Using Atlanta against, say, San Antonio is difficult, but doable. He only plays at Superstar level. He was too intimidated to play me and now refuses. I beat an Asian guy without ever playing. I'm putting this on my resume.

Obligitory White Sox rant. Wow, we start hitting when the Thominator returns to the lineup? Should I be surprised? As long as the pitching holds up, I expect this team to be in the hunt come September. We need another outfielder. Badly. Getting by with clowns like Mackowiak, Ozuna and Terrero is okay for about a month, but we need a MLB level OF soon. I like Ozuna, I like Terrero, I even like Mackowiak(a little), but I like them on the bench. I don't want to see these guys everyday. Especially Rob Mackowiak and his Assbat.

The Colonel and my mother land on Tuesday. They'll likely meet Su-Jin on Wednesday. I'm a little worried. It will likely go something like this...

/Su-Jin meets Matt's parents.

Su-Jin: We need to talk.

/Matt's head explodes.

Manjiro: Now who will feed me?

Manjiro is a blue stuffed elephant pillow that Su-Jin gave me. He guards my room when I'm gone. His goals are to eat and sleep as much as possible. He is a source of a lot of entertainment for Su-Jin and I. His favorite foods are red apples, pineapples and anything that I buy.

I saw Pirates of the Carribean 3 on Friday. I thought it was fairly boring for an action movie.


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